THE DOLLPORT TIMES

– Dollport's Oldest and Greatest Newspaper –

OPINION: Fragmentation is Deadening

January 28, 2018

Salt Lake City leads the US in moving people into the middle class, and that without larger state spending. The Mormon church plays a big role. Southern Evangelicals have similar dreams of less government and more charity, but Dixieland trails the country in economic mobility. Why? I think there's a big difference between an open society and a united society. Diversity is enriching, but fragmentation is deadening. Many people think fragmentation is when some minority refuses to join mainstream society, but I'd invert that. Fragmentation is when the majority feels the poor are part of some other society that can be out of sight, out of mind. In the south, when segregation was defeated, people didn't suddenly live in the same neighborhoods and go to the same churches. To better love neighbors, know them.

Timothy N. G.

Railroad Comes To Norrisville

January 28, 2018

NORRISVILLE - The town of Norrisville got a train station in mid 2015. It was complete with a platform labeled "JONN" and "72", benches, and bathroom, and other amenities. The platform roof collapsed at one point and took a little while to be repaired, but no injuries were reported any-where on the scene. ¶

Dollport Election Returns

January 28, 2018

For a digital copy see the doll government website.

Somebody Elected President, Richard, Mayor

January 28, 2018

DOLLPORT - Dollport's popular two-term mayor Ann Somebody was elected President in the first election since Dollport merged with Norrisville, beating ex-president Toby by only one vote. In the election, which was held on July 7, 2015, Norrisville native Ambie secured the second highest office of Governor by two votes over the incumbent Laursmen, Hubert Edmond. Richard was re-elected Mayor of Dollport by two votes despite tough com-petition from Ester who campaigned on a platform of popsicle sticks. Ned Simn lead in early returns for Attorney General, but D. Soldier ended up winning by a wide margin. ¶

Parties of Elected Representatives

Rebecca Gets New Doll, Rachel

January 28, 2018

AUSTIN - Rebecca, who is dating Master Timsmen, received a new wire doll from Mommy this Christmas. She named the doll Rachel. Rachel doesn’t have a dollhouse but does have reading material and a tea set. ¶

A Merry Doll Christmas

January 28, 2018

DOLLPORT - Several of the dolls were there when Santa Claus arrived, but they won’t tell. What we can report is that the dolls had a Christmas tree of their own, complete with ornaments and lights, from the trimmings of the big Doug Fir the venerable Christmas tree dolls were hanging in. They also had a few presents under their tree. Little Timothy got a copy of the gospels of Matthew and Mark, and Toby, like a boring adult, asked for and received new socks for Christmas because his old ones had huge holes. This raises the question: what adventures must a little doll go on to get holes in his socks? ¶

New Residents

January 28, 2018

DOLLPORT - Master Laursmen, Mommy, and Helen made some corn-husk dolls for Grandma's birthday. The blue husks they are wearing came from corn grown by Eleanor. They reside in the dining-room district. ¶